Thursday, June 08, 2006

Its Random Time!

It is time to start making you realize why I call my self random. Expect more like them to come. These things will occur, you guessed it, randomly! Enjoy to the glory of God.

Who is better Jack Bauer or Chuck Norris? Why?



VS.








7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Reasons Why Jack Bauer is cooler than Chuck Norris:

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's friggin beef.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer friggin hates lemonade.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better friggin do it.

Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.

When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

When you open a can of whoop-@$$, Jack Bauer jumps out.

You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".

In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the heck have you done with your life?

In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.

If you spell Jack Bauer in a Scrabble game, you win. Forever.

Jack Bauer can order a Big Mac at Burger King.

Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.

Guns dont kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

It would only take 1 bullet for Jack Bauer to kill 50 Cent.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're friggin dead."

Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.

Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why theres no life on Mars.

When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.

No man has ever used the phrase, "Jack Bauer is a wouss" in a sentence and lived to tel-

It took Jack Bauer two minutes to beat a confession out of OJ.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

If Jack Bauer was gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.

After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack Bauer, Tom Cruise admitted that he was gay.

Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.

Reapergirl said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! These are sooo funny! OH, and I do know who these two guys are...I just don't know names! :/

Screaming Pirate said...

See jack is better.. and thanks for saving me the embarisment. I am going to pick out my favorite ones and put them up. Now to come up with why chuck is a joke.....

Screaming Pirate said...

by the way jack is also a pirate.......

Anonymous said...

haha very funny, hmm mark, reading all this how did you get into 3rd level of sanctification, sorry you have entered illegaly go back redo the the second level, too funny to be serious in your walk. now alan honestly, since mark affirms covenant theology, how about face off between you two: Alan Munger vs Mark James, and make some nice graphics like this http://arkansasrazorbaptist.blogspot.com/2006/06/could-there-be-cage-match-this-arrived.html

Anonymous said...

anyways that was a stupid comment, Lord bless you all

Anonymous said...

if there is a cage match between myself and alan, then it's gotta be to the death and we can use chairs, ladders, and tables! :P