Vices

I know this is weird but i am posting all in one day.(the last one has actually been sitting in my drafts for a at least two or three weeks so technically. They were not written in one day.)

But lately this is what I have been thinking about. Dude, why do I so often put on a show like I have every thing together? Honest answer my pride. I am think of how often in my pride I have put my self above "sinners", like I know nothing about sin. Truth be told I have to often treated sin like its "out there"(world), instead of "in here" (my own wicked heart). Christ said "It was not that which goes in to a man that is defiling. But that which comes out of a man that defiles him" to put it in my best paraphrase.

How often do I fake fruit? I know I as one who is doing youth ministry I can act so often that it is a rare thing for me to sin.(cause Alan is "above such childish things like sin") When truth be told I am the biggest sinner I know. Seriously, not hyperbole. This CD by Dead Poetic (Warning! fundie types, this is not your type of music) has really hit home to me. The song that really puts the lens on how to interpret the CD comes from the last(and the title) track. Vices




"Feeling cold, feeling empty. Set the stage, where you want me. ....
And the audience stands with their eyes fixed on the preconceived version of me.
I'm so betrayed by your hopes, but I will not hide myself for your peace of mind.

Oh, but Child. I've got Vices like any other man.....

Oh, but Mother.(Lover used next verse) I've got Vices like any other man.
Vices that you're not used to. Vices that'll make you think less of me.

Feeling cold, feeling empty. I am low, unworthy.
Bleed the God. Bleed the blessing. Like a vulture feasting.
I'll exist as if I don't feel conviction of my ignorance to my perfect prison.
But I feel the stabs on my wrists and ankles every time I try...

To forget you. To forget you.

Oh, but Jesus. I've got Vices like any other man.
Vices that you're so used to. Vices that won't make you think less of me."

But there is grace. I think there is great comfort and peace in this song, as chaotic as and dark as the song (and album) can be. It ends the song, It ends the album on the right note. Grace and Hope.

God does give me victory over sin, increasingly so (although it to often times is 2 steps forward 1 step back). Praise God! May I continually lean upon the grace of God. For with out it I continue to be the same wrench, if not a worse one than the day before.

So here is the question end with. How is there victory with nothing to conquer? How will others know about the Grace of God, if there is no sin for Grace to cover? For we can not have one with out the other in our lives. Let us not just puke on one another but let us encourage others with Grace. Let us not continue to spread the lie that Christians are perfect. We must show the world the process of salvation in sanctification.